Yearly Archives: 2015

The 25 Days of Healing

The future school counselor in me wanted to pin point 25 sequential steps you could take to heal from your Daddy Issues, relationship issues or self-love issues. Then it dawned on me, I can't help you do what I haven't yet done. So these next 25 days WILL be about adventure. Who's ready to take the journey to healing with me?

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Curiosity Killed the Cat

I found a statistic that made me reflect on a younger cousin of mine who went from a curious and creative toddler to an aggressive teen caught in the foster system and eventually ended up in a juvenile detention center. He was isolated by his step father, physically tossed around by him and felt unprotected by his mother.

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Money, Power, Respect

http://https://youtu.be/0zdUQl10NOc

Domestic Violence is defined as a pattern of behavior used to establish power or control over another individual. When we hear the term Domestic Violence we often think first of physical abuse in a romantic relationship. However there’s a key piece to these behavior patterns that frequently goes overlooked; financial abuse.

Financial abuse can be a side effect of physical abuse, such as a partner breaking your phone during a fit of rage, which not only prevents you from calling for help in the moment, but also adds the burden of purchasing a replacement phone to your list of financial obligations.

Financial abuse can also be paired with psychological abuse. Take the relationship between pimp & prostitute for instance, pimps establish a power over prostitutes by making them believe that without the protection of the pimp a prostitute is worse off. Pimps also demand the financial earnings of a prostitute, by establishing control over the income, they prevent the prostitute from developing enough savings to escape the boundaries of the pimps control.

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CRAY-DAR

My mother must have something magical at that midpoint that serves as the meeting place where the lines of her thighs meet, because all three of my “Daddy’s” have had some stalk-ish moments when it comes to her. Unfortunately, she seems to have a broken CRAY-Dar. Or maybe it’s the magic in her regal region that makes them this way.

Cray-Dar Definition

Now that we know what a CRAY-DAR is, let me give you some history. It’s been rumored that even in infancy I was able to “See Red” in people and advise my mother not to date them. I’m guessing my CRAY-DAR kicked in early.

Buddha used to write me letters (some before I could read) of how things would be different when he came “Out on vacation”. Sold dreams of this family he and I would be with my mother. Needless to say I was thoroughly confused as to why he thought we could be a “family” when things were just fine with me, my mother and Step Dad #1. Buddha was CRAZY.

Step Dad #1 & my mom have tried their hand at reuniting on multiple occasions. He’s probably the least possessively aggressive when it came to her, but he still has illusions of a “perfect relationship” between them, where it’s ok for him to see other people, yet it’s painful to see her with anyone else.

Umm No

My CRAY-DAR was definitely strongest with my sister’s father. He knew things only possible to have know if he had been listening to conversations she had in his assumed absence or following her to destinations throughout the day. To this day I have most of my phone conversations in the car for fear of my apartment being bugged due to things I’ve witnessed. Throughout their decade + long relationship, he’s shown up unannounced at work functions & assaulted coworkers, called the police & pressed charges on her in the middle of the night when she had a house full of children, used the SUPER BASS in his voice as a weapon against her family and guests, drove through the neighborhood monitoring who is entering and exiting the home, and constantly plead that he wants his “family” back while continuing to live in a façade where their relationship has yet to end.

Maury Meme

When she met him, he had siblings & nieces & nephews, friends, a god-son, co-workers, band-mates that he wrote songs with.

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