A couple weeks ago Life Coach Latisha Carr approached me with the idea to do a Father’s Day Brunch for women who have lost their Dad’s or grew up without one. I thought it was a dope idea, put some feelers out there and got a decent response. However, many of the women interested in participating lived nowhere near us, and 10 days just was sufficient time for them to make proper travel arrangements or us to plan and execute with care. So instead we decided to do this live chat where we could engage with our audiences about our experiences being Fatherless & ways to cope.
We hit an unexpected technical difficulty and were unable to be dual hosts as intended. HOWEVER, we persevered and navigated via both IG Live & Facebook to keep the conversation going.
Me: Tish How old were you when your Dad Died?
Tish: I was 23 when my Dad died. It’s still been a lot for me to process, but he wasn’t necessarily a present Dad before then either. So I’ve had a lot of Fatherless Father’s Days.
Me: You mentioned weddings making you miss your Dad, & thinking of who will walk you down the aisle, how do you get through those moments?
Tish: I don’t know, I have uncles and brothers and really good friends so I haven’t decided who I think will walk me down the aisle just yet, but I do think about it when I attend weddings.
Me: I know you’re big on self-care, what tips can you offer to other women who are grieving or dealing with the loss of their Dad?
Tish: For me, I choose to log out of all social media on this day just to protect my peace. It’s hard for me to see other people’s post so I choose to stay off social media this day. Another tip is writing. Journaling, writing down what it means to you to be a Fatherless woman. Sometimes writing things down is a way to ease what you’re dealing with because we sometimes have a tendency to bottle it up.
The tech barrier got to be a bit much at that point so I didn’t continue with the last question I had, but the conversation did go on organically between Tish, myself and our live viewers.
We discussed what inspired Tish to even want to do a brunch for Fatherless women in the first place. She shared with us that she had some cousins who also experienced being Fatherless and it was something they intended to do together, but they moved a distance apart and were never able to carry through with it. She said many people go out and have cookouts and it can be difficult for those of us who don’t have Dad’s and having support is important. It made me realize that I had not ever thought to consider my own cousins as a source of support in Fatherlessness. It was something we never talked about until they started reading my blog, and now I get to build that source of support for those of us who are open to it.
We briefly touched on access to therapy and other resources to cope with what it feels like to be Fatherless and how it isn’t always available to the community that needs it. I shared one of my favorite Jill Scott songs THE FACT IS (We Need You) and how it highlights that as Independent was we can be we still need men to be fathers and active members of the community.
Our ultimate goal was to support other women who are dealing with Fatherlessness, but also to gauge who would be interested in attending an actual sit-down Brunch next Father’s Day. We had a handful of women interested in attending the brunch and when asked what they would like it to cover, they mentioned topics like Forgiveness, and never being able to see their Dad. Things I’ve covered over the years on this blog. Things that I could also continue to benefit from, one viewer, a friend of mine from my days in education, suggested we do a brunch for Fatherless students so that’s an opportunity I’m excited by.
If you missed it, don’t fret, just be sure to join the conversation next month. I’ll be releasing that topic in a few weeks. And you can still view the conversation and read other people’s comments on the Daaamn Daddy Facebook page. If you have any suggestions for what you’d like to experience at a brunch for Fatherless Women on Fathers Day feel Free to share them in the comments!