Domestic Violence is defined as a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.

Assault is defined as an intentional attempt or threat to inflict injury that places another person in fear of imminent bodily harm.

I’m a CONTROL freak. I chose to live alone because I wanted to be in control of when I do and do not wish to have company.

On Dealing With Daddy Issues this week I posted about “Super Bass” & my sister’s father being a loud presence in my life. When I was 14 we had our one and only physical altercation. And although no one seems to agree on the details it definitely changed things and how we interacted with and around one another.

I didn’t like his tone of voice most of the time, but I knew after that night if I was going against him, I was going alone. There were many great memories after after that night, but I definitely became more aware of myself and my power and occasional lack thereof.

I remember visiting from college and trying to help my sister with her homework and her father feeling uncomfortable with how I stepped in. Truth is, I know being yelled at never man an assignment any easier for me to understand.

The point I made in “Super Bass” was that I felt abandoned by mother’s lack of reaction to the way my sister’s father spoke to me. Although I didn’t personally fear violence from him, he was an intimidating presence. Some times I interpreted my mother’s compromising in that relationship as him being controlling.

A few months ago I told my mother jokingly “We grew up together”, but fortunately, that’s partially true. I was exposed to enough through my mother’s relationships and the friends and relatives she allowed me around to know that I never want to feel that I’m being controlled.

If you or your parent or relative is a victim of Domestic Violence call  1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the Domestic Violence Hotline for more information on what Domestic Violence is and what resources are available to help you.

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