3:30am Sunday August 16, 2015
I was just woken up out my sleep by Buddha 2.0 knocking on his sister’s door and I said a prayer that he was ok & let him in anyway.
He asked for my phone so he could “Make sure the ß!+©# got home safely” referencing the young woman who dropped him off”
I initially told him no but part of me was proud he even cared that she made it home.
My phone only works on speaker from being dropped so many times, so I had the displeasure of hearing their WHOLE conversation.
All I could think about was Kendrick Lamar’s 2nd track on TPAB “This. Dick. Ain’t. Freeeee.” I listened as he directly told this woman “I don’t want your p_$$¥ I mean it’s good, but if you ain’t giving me money I don’t give a f_ck” and she on multiple accounts throughout the conversation said “but I care about you”.
I tried to think myself to sleep as I lay there in the dark, hearing this broken man that I love, but despise for idolizing my father, his uncle, but I couldn’t. “What we should be trying to do is figure out how YOU gone pay my phone bill & gimme some P-$$¥” and she actually said “Give me your phone number and I’ll pay it with my credit card right now”
I know I told yall I respect honesty & he ain’t fed not a lie to her as I lay here. He told her if she couldn’t figure out a way to make things work in their relationship she might as well wait for her husband to “finish his bid” and leave him out of it. She once again cited how she cared about him.*ß!+©# WHY? Care about YOU!*
She wanted to set up arrangements for sex sometime this coming week and said she couldn’t take him home because “the kids are here”. “I ain’t finna keep letting your kids get in the way of us f_cking. We got a room before, you the one decided to drop me off & now you asking bout some d!©k, we was just together!”
I guess he got tired of the back & forth with no progress & her failed attempts to pay his phone bill on three way. (Yes there were multiple attempts) so he told her “Since you can’t figure $#!+ out I’ll give you a call around Christmas” Although I heard her say multiple times she could get d!ck elsewhere (hence the correlation to Kendrick’s track) it was clear that she wanted HIM. Even after he called her a ß!+©#. Even after being told her kids were in the way. Even after he told her more than once he was using her for money. (She did tell him she wasn’t a bank but still) She wanted him & all the disrespectful ways he learned from my father and I guess his indirectly. I wanted to ask him “Would you want someone talking to me like that?” But I was afraid of what he might answer.
Worst part was I wasn’t even shocked. Despite having his own absentee father, he chose to be just like Buddha, and she chose to let him. I don’t know that young woman & I never saw her face, but all I could think of while hearing her borderline beg was.
*I ain’t ever had d!©k good enough for me to pay the bill on a phone I couldn’t have the number to*
When the only men you’ve looked up to lack respect for women, you learn not to respect them either. When you allow a man to have you without respecting you, you reinforce his bad habits. You give what you get, and you get what you accept. Just remember Nothing’s for Free.