I shared this screenshot over a year ago. After finding out the guy I was seeing had a child and realizing I had never asked.
See, I had already identified my problem pattern when it came to men. I liked intellectual assholes. You know the type, they can hold a conversation about any topic you’re interested in & the moment they know something you don’t, they wanna make it a teachable moment and make you feel like a toddler instead of their equal. Am I the only one?
Well, seeing this post resonated with me. I wanted to make sure I was asking the right questions. Tumbling over in my mind the thesaurus of inquiries I had committed to my rolodex & getting the important answers.
The next time we met he told me he was a Dad more organically. Drag & Drop all those “important questions into my mental trash bin.
So it was funny to me to find that post amongst my screenshots as I was clearing my phone for space today.
I learned about his childhood. It was similar to mine. Absentee Dad, due to narcotics & incarceration. A sibling here a sibling there. Going months to years between visits and even those memories weren’t always the best. We shared a fear of being hurt and it took A LOT to make either of us angry. Well a lot more for him than myself, but I felt safe with this person. He felt familiar. We had similar backgrounds so I thought I understood his trauma. More importantly, I felt he understood mine.
It’s funny how wrong I was.
To BE continued…