One of my childhood friends and I had a big falling out a few years ago after over 10 years of friendship. I saw a photo of his daughter for the first time today. She’s gorgeous, looks just like him. I told another friend of mine “I hope having a daughter helps him treat women better” No sooner than I sent that text, I realized just how far fetched that thought was.
- Having a daughter didn’t stop Buddha from throwing a knife at his fiancé with me in the next room, when I was 10 years old.
- Having daughters didn’t stop Step Dad #1 from having unprotected sex with another woman while in what was thought to be a committed relationship with my mother.
- Having a daughter didn’t prevent my Sister’s Father’s insecurities from showing up. Causing him to behave aggressively & what some may call violently toward those he felt threatened his “happy family”.
- Having a daughter didn’t stop my cousin from stepping outside his 11 year relationship for the umpteenth time producing his second child outside of said relationship.
- Having a daughter didn’t stop my god-daughter’s father from physically abusing her mother and causing property damage in an attempt to make her lose her first apartment and her job simultaneously.
We have these myths circulating in our communities that a father’s bad karma comes back on his daughter, & that having a little girl changes the way men see and interact with women. Little girls grow up to believe that they possess some type of magic that makes their daddies into better men. Except when those daddies don’t become better men, those little girls feel like their magic is broken. We believe that our existence was supposed to show them that all women aren’t so bad, and in fact maybe they have been seeing women all wrong all along. We believe that our Daddies are supposed to look at us and say “I can’t believe I’ve been doing to other people’s daughter’s what I would never want done to this little magical being here” OR. “Man, I messed up; I have to protect her so no one ever does to her what I’ve done to other women.”