A Few weeks ago, I contacted my father’s other daughter to tell her I’d be in Jersey in a few weeks and I’d like to see her while I was there.
It wasn’t until after I hit send that I realized that, that weekend would be Father’s Day. For a brief moment I was consumed with an anxiety that she would want the two of us to spend Father’s Day with Buddha. It was another few days after that when I came to the realization that I’ve never, or at least I can’t recall spending a single Father Day with my biological father.
My Father’s Day post is dedicated to the young men I see defying negative stereotypes. I admire them for being the type of father I wish I had. These are men I knew in adolescence that Social Media has allowed me to see blossom into better Daddies than the one I was born to, despite the circumstances they face. I went to high school with a young man full of life & energy who kept my art classes filled with humor. I observed his relationship develop and mature until his girlfriend switched high schools during our senior year. She moved out of state but he loved her and visited her and from this relationship a child was made. I was away my freshman year of college when their daughter was born.
When their relationship broke down I watched my friend and former classmate fight for full custody of their child and WIN! Unlike an episode of Judge Mathis may have you believe, he didn’t seek custody in an attempt to avoid child support, he truly believed that he was the best person for his child to remain with. He does her hair, paints her nails, takes pride in being able to help her with homework and doesn’t feel like less of a man for it. It fills me with joy when he chooses to share prized moments in his journey of parenthood. She recently graduated kindergarten and even having never physically met this child I envy her relationship with her daddy and felt like WE made it. 25 years old and he’s been there for his daughter every step of the way.
I’ve been an onlooker into another fatherhood that’s slightly more complicated. This young man and I are from the same home town and although I can’t be sure I’ve ever met him in person he started randomly appearing more frequently in my Facebook timeline.
He had two children whom he adored and then one day two became one. I won’t divulge the details of this personal matter without his consent, but he was open enough to respond to my inquiries in his inbox.
You can’t turn off being a DAD whether you’re a child’s father or not. It was evident in his actions as well as in his response to my inquiry that he was more than a Facebook father searching for likes. He cooks for his kids, enjoys watching their favorite movies, even if it means watching it 20 times in one day. He misses them when they aren’t in his presence, he cares.
Just like Step Dad #1 has continued to be there for me despite the wishes of my sister’s father, and just like my sister’s father has continued to provide for me without question. I see an influx of single father’s being overlooked by the media storm that is single motherhood. Some of my closest male friends in childhood view their children as their greatest accomplishments, and I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing their dedication to building strong LOVED children. I’ve been observing co-parenting from my peers when my parents couldn’t seem to get it right and I Want to honor them. Happy Father’s Day to young Daddies who have gotten it right!