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Final Farewells

Two nights ago the First Dad gave a  “Farewell Address” that brought many to tears.

As Americans watched President Obama address the nation for the last time, they also shared their feelings on social media Tuesday night.
Source: Twitter Photo: Twitter.com

The memes were swift and for some the tears were real.

I wouldn’t say that President Obama has been like a father to me, but he’s definitely influenced a generation.

As heavy as his exit will impact us, I don’t suspect it hurts half as much as it would for one to lose their Dad forever

We’re a few days away from having a Monday off from work and school in honor of a Dad who died too soon.

It made me wonder what Daddy Issues come with death? How did Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s children cope with losing him?

I put out a few requests for people who’ve dealt with their Dad’s death to share their stories.

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Didn’t get the response I was looking for, but I did get some feedback.

Losing a Daddy that was present and positive, made those who lost him fight harder  to honor and extend his legacy.

Losing a Daddy that was unknown or absent turned a hole of inquiry into an abyss of unanswered questions.

I wondered if having a dead Dad impacted a child’s behavior in school.

If MLK’s assassination was a symbolic dead Dad in the black community:

Leaving us to raise ourselves. Forcing us to grow up faster, and prematurely aging the parent left to provide for and protect us.

When most people reflect on Martin Luther King’s legacy they talk about his dream. But what about his death? And have we ever really processed it’s effects?

Have you lost your Daddy?

  • How did you deal with it?
  • What advice on coping would you pass on?

 

If I were still in the classroom. I’d flip the script on Martin Luther King Day. Teach a lesson on Empathy, by having scholars write diary entries as one of his kids who just found out their Dad died.

 

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Building Healthy Habits

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last month I participated in a Forgiveness Challenge. Turns out I didn’t have as long a list of people to forgive as I thought. The Challenge however did highlight to me the importance of building healthy habits.

I’m not the “New Year, New Me” type of person, but I have come to realize the key to feeling new starts with intentionally changed behavior.

Most people spent last Saturday “reflecting.” That was a buzzword when I was teaching. Means examining the things you do and looking for ways to improve them. So I did some research and came across a list of 5 steps on Chopra.com for creating healthy habits and I intend to implement them this year.

Forgiveness was a recurring theme in 2016. I was encouraged to write a letter of Forgiveness to Buddha. I was encouraged to be open to communicate with him. I did that and I have to say, I feel so much lighter since trying what I’ve been encouraged to do.

So in light of the New Year providing new beginnings, I’m sharing the 5 steps I learned on Chopra.com and how they can be applied to Dealing with Daddy Issues.

The First is to Set Goals:

  • My Goals are to not carry Daddy Issues into any future relationships.
  • To help others deal with Daddy Issues through teaching expressive writing.

I find mental to health to be of utmost importance so those goals are part of my bigger picture.

The Second is to Set Priorities, identify your weaknesses and strengths. Not all bad patterns can be attacked at once; so having small victories to celebrate along the way can be helpful. (Sunday my mom showed up with a new tv. She waited until it was inside my apartment to tell me Buddha helped purchase it. My boyfriend made it imperative that I call to say “Thank You” verbally as opposed to through Facebook message. Direct communication is one of my weaknesses. Tackling that is one of my priorities, and it will be something to celebrate along the way.

Once you set goals and priorities the Third Step is to Identify Harmful Patterns. The first line on Chopra.com in this section is “To change your negative habits you have to know what they are.” Some of my negative habits include shutting people out and not directly addressing things that bother me. I’ve done better at addressing things directly with the people who bother me.

Forming a new habit takes repetition and focus which brings us to Step Four, Making Steady Changes. Those priorities you set should be small and attainable, making them easy to implement and increase over time. Saying “Thank You” to Buddha on my  was a small step to me. I followed that up by wishing him a Happy Birthday three weeks later. Small steady changes to help me reach my goals.

And in order to reach those goals I have to complete Step Five; Reinforce Good Decisions.

I’m looking to build so much in 2017, Healthy Habits are just first on the List!